I anticipated this time of engagement to be one of solitude, reflection, contemplation, and prayer. I also thought that this would be the time that family and closest friends would be supportive in aiding the preparation for a new stage of life.

I'm wrong.

Winchell and I laid out a google calendar for our wedding planning. Every night but Tuesday is booked- natural family planning counseling, dancing lessons, premarital counseling, and all the vendors- the invitation people, photographers, videographer, baker, seamstress...it goes on and on. I've immensely enjoyed the dancing (which was his idea) and premarital, but all the other stuff, really? Is this needed? We have a thread of over 60 emails in regards to the elements of our invitations- the color, the font, the paper weight, the text, the graphics, the design, the... Perhaps I'm sick not from germs but ill spent time on these silly wedding details. But it is spent for to commemorate a beautiful day for something that I pray that will happen once in this lifetime.

I found it foolish that brides have asked Miss Manners if they could fire bridesmaids- that it was petty and blind. Really, suck it up. It was your fault to ask the wrong women. But now I understand. Friendships flux and situations arise whether they are yours or theirs; and you realize that in the thick of it, they really aren't the friends you thought they were when you asked them to stand by you on your day. You thought they already were an integral part of your life, so it made sense to you that this would continue and to memorialize it on a wedding program. Oh well, perhaps this friendship was over a long time ago and it was foolish to think that this sacred moment would revive it. It was never about the dress, the flowers, the showers, or any of that crap, but it was about openness, care, trust, honesty, love. Love. The true stuff friendships live on. The command that Jesus gave. Do you care? Do you really? I did. I still do- that's what hurts. When I pretend I don't, I lie to myself. Ironically, support does come out in forms of being willing to wear a certain dress, stuff invitations, and reminders to pick up a marriage license and change my name in addition to the unspoken, invaluable knowledge I can call in the middle of the night.

Then the family member who tells you they're not coming. Can I fire family too?

Then the family and few friends who are faithfully here... Neen, Tiff, and Winchell patiently folded mis-cut paper to made the invitation envelopes from 9pm-3am a couple Saturdays ago. That's love. My mom stayed up with us cutting the liner for these messed envelopes. Dennis and Vivien asking us the hard questions every Thursday, "Why do you love this woman?", "Is God in your relationship?", "Are you sure this is the right time for you to get married?" That's love. Missy making phone calls from S. Carolina to see how I'm doing. That's love. And I want to love like this.

What a strange mix of love and desertion in this time. Thankful for the former. Learning from the latter. I cannot be bitter, for I know that I've abused my relationship with God in deeper ways than what's been said and done by others. But man, still hurts, esp. the silent treatment. But at the right time, all will be healed.

If it fails to pass, it will revolutionize the way sexuality is taught in public schools, indoctrinating kids into accepting homosexuality as normal and gay marriage as equivalent to heterosexual marriage. Have you been noticing what has been happening in Massachusetts (where homosexual marriage is legal)? The U.S. Supreme Court recently declined an appeal from two families who confronted their school districts over the presentation of pro-homosexual material in their kids' kindergarten and second grade classes without receiving prior parental consent. The school districts refused to accommodate the parents' wishes that they be informed ahead of time of such discussions and be allowed to remove their kids during these times. The Massachusetts appeals court backed the school districts in an unanimous decision, stating that parents do not have the right either to receive prior notification or remove their kids from class. Perhaps you've heard the anti-Prop 8 radio ad that says "it's not about schools"- that's a blatant lie. Schools are being affected right now.

The notion that schools and government have more authority than parents over their children is downright scary. Do we want this to happen in California? When our kids begin school in would you like them to be told that homosexuality is okay and that people who think otherwise are discriminatory bigots? Imagine deeply loving your child and teaching them about God's Word at home only to have your efforts undermined every single day in public schools.

And what of the logical extensions? If homosexuality legalized then polygamy is next. Once a divine sanction for marriage is abolished the whole institution becomes relative and malleable to the desires and whims of society. Daphne earlier cited some excellent facts about incest and sex with minors in other countries with liberal views of sexuality; I'll add that a recent study by Child Trends, a nonpartisan research center, confirmed the value of the traditional family by showing that the best environment in which to raise kids is a low-conflict, two parent home headed by heterosexual, married parents. The Los Angeles Times even published an op-ed last month by liberal Democrat David Blankenhorn who supports Prop 8 because he wants what is best for children and society. After citing that aforementioned study he wrote: "Every child being raised by gay or lesbian couples will be denied his birthright to both parents who made him…Do you think that every child deserves his mother and father…?" Prop 8 is nothing less than a referendum on what type of country we want to live in.

There is a liberal homosexual political agenda that will stop at nothing to push its radical agenda through every form of government. We've seen it in Massachusetts and, if Prop 8 fails, then we'll see its full-fledged efforts in California. And it'll spread to other aspects of society as well. Already in New Mexico a Christian photographer was recently fined thousands of dollars by the state government because he refused to photograph a gay wedding. In Canada, pastors have been censored by the government for speaking out against homosexuality. In San Diego, a doctor was sued for refusing to provide fertilization for a lesbian couple even though he referred the partners to another doctor who successfully performed the operation. There is no tolerance for different views on homosexuality within the radical left and, unless those wanting to protect society speak their minds by voting yes on Prop 8, these examples will only be the beginning. Imagine churches losing their tax-exemption status, conservative talk radio shows being shut down for promoting "hate crimes" and employees being forced to sacrifice their freedom of conscious in the workplace. This is not the society that I want to live in. How about you?

As a footnote, I'll add a brief segment about the presidential election. I will not tell you who to vote for, but I'd like to note a statement issued by Barak Obama on the anniversary of Roe vs. Wade on January 22nd: "When South Dakota passed a law banning all abortions in a direct effort to have Roe overruled, I was the only candidate for President to raise money to help the citizens of South Dakota repeal that law…I will continue to defend this right by passing the Freedom of Choice Act as president." My point in quoting this is not to call attention to Senator Obama's undying support for abortion, but to emphasize his attempt to override popular consent. Friends, one of the most paramount legacies of our country's founders was to give people the right to choose the type of society they live in. As Lincoln famously said in the Gettysburg Address, the United States is a "government of the people by the people, for the people." The people of Scout Dakota decided that they wanted an abortion-free state. For Obama, though, that was not acceptable. He doesn't even live in that state and yet he felt that he had the prerogative to intervene by supporting efforts to repeal that law and trying to enforce his personal views upon the people of that state. If he were to be elected president, he has pledged to support the Freedom of Choice act which would legalize abortion nationwide and prevent states from deciding this issue themselves. Friends, democracy by nature is a fragile thing. It is a luxury to be defended and cherished and not to be taken for granted. Beware of any political figure, whether liberal or conservative, who would try to take away your freedom of choice about what type of society you'd like to live in- that's tyranny and the very thing our Founding Fathers rebelled against.

I emphasize with the homosexual political movement in that if one dismisses religion and societies' traditional views of marriage, then there's little, if any, basis for opposing for homosexual marriage. They phrase it as a civil right parallel to African-Americans' struggle to achieve equality in our country and are persuaded in their own minds that they're right. I understand this, but I also comprehend the further destruction that will be released upon our families, schools and free speech should Prop 8 not pass. Thankfully we have the ability to vote on this issue and, if Prop 8 fails, we have no one to blame but ourselves.

Jason

Punishing those who lie, cheat and steal does not change hearts. That's not the government's intent or role- to serve justice, not be an extension of evangelical Christianity. Liars and thieves may feel more alienated by justice also, especially incarcerated. The law was never given and is not to be made to change attitudes, hearts or minds, rather, it's the scale by what our society knows what is right from wrong.

But on a personal, non-governmental level, this looks differently when we, individual Christians interact with liars, thieves, and homosexuals- to be kind, compassionate, tender-hearted. For we were just like them. But the role of the government should not be confused with this, and the way believers vote is to conform with what our Lord established the government for, "the punishment of evildoers and the praise of those who do what is right." (I Pt. 2.14)

Sadly, CA is so tolerant to the extreme that we do not identify sin as harmful, (as seen in the health problems those who participate in drunkenness, gluttony, homosexuality) and the spiritual, and early physical death that it brings. Homosexuality is a sin, just as fraud or murder. I've been guilty of sins such as these. But okaying it, or calling it permissible for others encourages death to them, our society, and furthers the blurring of this state and country's conscience on moral and family issues.

Don't be offended for gay people. Be absolutely terrified for them if prop 8 does not pass.